NOTICED:DOWN WITH IT
(First published on more.ca)
Pardon my absence, but within days of losing my column, and nearly burning down my house, I came down with the swine flu.
You know how when you get food poisoning and the entire time you are moaning on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, the single thought that possesses you is: it must have been that egg salad sandwich, the night that I came down with H1N1, all I could think about was the party I attended for the closing of Toronto Fashion week a couple nights earlier, and the guy not 10 feet away from me who coughed extravagantly all over a tray of passing drinks. I remember thinking to myself at the time, ‘that’s really uncool, right now, in the midst of all this disease hysteria to be spewing your germs around at a party’. And then two nights later, there I was, clinging to my bed in a hallucinatory fever, like it was a life raft, and I was stranded somewhere out at sea in the middle of a raging storm.